MonkeyPoem

On Employment

The monkey wants a job
He'd like to be employed
if only
he could find
the time to do the dishes.

I guess I wrote this in a naïve phase. Did I believe this? I think I did at the time.

The monkey's a hypocrite
lives in the west
but what can you do
except try your best
if no-one tried
then things would be worse
and we can't change the world
unless we try to change first.

At least this one's not trying to be socially aware

An infinity of monkeys
got inside my head
they tried to tell me
that Shakespeare was dead
they didn't see why they should type
a load of old Elizabethan tripe
what they really wanted
was a modern novel or two
so they're typing Ulysses
and then when they're through
they'll type Douglas Coupland
and type Irvine Welsh
then they'll type Naked Lunch
by William Burroughs himself
and then when that's typed
they'll type Enid Blyton
as a last celebration
of great modern writing.

Actually I wrote this before Al Gore. Meh. Now everyone will think I'm a right wing commentator. Meh.

The monkey published a book
on the problems of the world
including
climate change
and the high level of resource wastage
in the first world.

Ten cents
from the sale of every copy
was donated to environmental charities

It was a runaway bestseller
(particularly the hardback edition -
if you bought that
you could enter a competition
to win a brand new
car.)

The monkey went on a book tour
flying first class
because he only had a limited time
and wanted to be fresh
for each engagement.

Office Politics

The orangutan had the office
the chimps had cubicles
like the gibbons
The chimps complained
gibbons are only lesser apes
and the Pan Troglodyte peons
wanted work spaces
to reflect their status
as great apes

Goal Setting

The orangutan
wanted a mission statement.
A strategic one.
He wanted to define his outcomes
to see if there were learnings
that he could utilise
to enhance his focus
to apply to key goals.

As he swung through the trees
moving forward not back
he knew he could be
a 'can-do' orangutan
(Once he'd put in place
appropriate
monitoring and reporting
procedures.)

Apes and the Corporate Ladder: The End

The Gorilla
simply sat
at the bottom of the ladder
and munched
through some vegetation

The Apes and the Corporate Ladder (4) - the Chimpanzee

The chimpanzees
hunted the monkeys
on the other rungs of the ladder
and did hostile takeovers.
It's a chimp-eat-monkey world.

The apes and the corporate ladder (3): The bonobos

The bonobos ignored the ladder
and set up a consultancy
to conduct team building
bonobo style.
So everyone could get to
know each other
better.

The Apes and the Corporate Ladder: The Gibbon

The gibbon had problems
until they turned the ladder sideways
and he could brachiate
along it.

(He didn't get promoted,
spent the rest of his working life
just hanging around.)

The Apes and the Corporate Ladder: The Orang-utan

Climbing up the corporate ladder
was tricky
for the Orang-utan.

He wished it was
a corporate tree.

Time for a cup of tea and a biscuit

the slow loris
ran out of inspiration
the hiatus will continue
till creativity resumes

Bad Araucaria Pun

Norfolk was a monkey
his girlfriend left
didn't say why
or goodbye.
A sad monkey.
A puzzled monkey.
A monkey puzzled,
Norfolk pined.

Work, Shirk, Lurk

When the ape took a job
he didn't realise
that one of his key tasks
would be wasting time to look busy.

He did his work
quickly
he didn't get to leave
they gave him more.

So he slowed down
took it easy
browsed the web
got home late
didn't see his friends
or his family.

But got a promotion
because of his
tireless
hardworking
approach.
(All those hours he put in to get the project completed
must be worth something.)

On eating fruit

The ape
ate a grape
and choked.