Look out! He's got a knife!

Why do people believe in God?

If you believe in God (or gods), why is that?

Seriously. I don't get it. I don't mean to mock or insult.

Do you have direct experience? If so - what's that like? I'm really curious. If you don't have direct experience, what compels you to have faith in something you can't sense?

I don't accept condescending explanations like "because they are afraid of death" - that seems absurd to me. Apart from anything else, I have always considered the threat of eternal damnation a lot more frightening than the idea of simply not existing anymore.

Just curious... No offence intended, no argument will be offered... No sarcasm please.

Quasi-Daily Goddamn

This is a good one for Friday, courtesy of the non-wrestler.

Great piece of journalism for once

In case you don't read the Moose, here are some links to Keith Olbermann's comment on the NIE report (you know, the document that says the war on Iraq has provoked rather than decreased terrorism), and on Fox News's ambush of Bill Clinton.

[link] to the transcript. (Thanks to Scott.)
[link] to the video.

I've read good transcripts of Olbermann before, but this takes the cake. Let's hope enough people in America aren't too far brainwashed to see the truth in this.

Daily Quote

"In the absence of will-power the most complete collection of virtues and talents is wholly worthless."
- Aleister Crowley

(Not the) Daily Goddamn

This guy is the goddamn Batman.

Danger Man was an awesome show. Fans of The Prisoner need to check it out.

Daily Quote

"My philosophy of life is that the meek shall inherit nothing but debasement, frustration and ignoble deaths; that there is security in personal strength; that you CAN fight City Hall and WIN; that any action is better than no action, even if it's the wrong action; that you never reach glory or self-fulfillment unless you're willing to risk everything, dare anything, put yourself dead on the line every time; and that once one becomes strong or rich or potent or powerful it is the responsibility of the strong to help the weak BECOME strong."
- Harlan Ellison

Chavez on the rise

[link]

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is starting to look very interesting indeed. You might have heard about him standing up in the UN and calling George W. Bush "the devil" - but you might not have heard that Venezuelan aid to Latin America now outstrips America's contribution, or about the trade & investment deals he's signed with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

I would not be surprised if his claims that the US administration is trying to topple him are true. In fact, I would be surprised if they are not trying to - he's winning "hearts and minds" in ways they would never contemplate.

Semi-Daily Goddamn

Daily Quote

"When you believe in things that you don't understand
Then you suffer
Superstition ain't the way"
- Stevie Wonder

Review: The Blonde, the Brunette and the Vengeful Redhead

I just went and saw The Blonde, the Brunette and the Vengeful Redhead by Robert Hewett at Downstage. It's a one-person play starring Kerry Fox.

I've seen a few solo plays in my time, from monologues to multi-character works like No. 2 with Madeleine Sami¹. With all respect to Maggie Smith and Pete Postethwaite - truly world-class actors I've seen on stage - this may be my favourite from a performance standpoint.

Fox plays almost every character involved in a particular tragic event (which I won't reveal here). Her range is stunning, as is the fact that she switches from character to character - there are seven characters and eight monologues - on stage, with minimal and visible costume changes.

I urge you to see this show. It's only on for less than two more weeks and it's selling fast. This may be your only chance to see Kerry Fox live on stage in her home town, and it may be the only chance to see her play these roles ever. (There have been offers for her to take it to London, but the writer won't give up the rights even though it hasn't been sold to anyone else - I intend to write him a polite and complimentary letter but I doubt I'll be able to pursuade him alone).

There was a Q&A at the end as always with first Mondays at Downstage. I didn't have the nerve to ask any questions, and quite frankly there were some duffers asking pretentious twaddle, but it was nice to see Ms. Fox so down to earth so quickly after such an amazing performance.

Go. Book now. Or you'll miss out. Shit I know you won't usually listen, but do it this once, OK?

_{1. Any idea why Ms. Sami - who was phenomenal - wasn't in the film adaptation of that play? Obviously she couldn't still play every role, but frankly at the time I was more impressed with her than I was with the script...}

Review: Themroc (1972)

Themroc lives in a dingy flat with his younger sister and their elderly mother. He works as part of a team painting the interior of a fence (another team is painting the exterior of the fence). One day Themroc is disciplined for catching a glimpse of his boss fondling a secretary. He reacts by walking out of his job, turning his flat into a cave, and generally turning into a caveman.

Everybody in the movie talks in gibberish, so even though this is a French movie it needs no subtitles. Themroc stops speaking altogether, preferring to grunt, scream and roar. His only recognisable word is "Themroc!"

Soon Themroc's neighbours have decided that he's on to something and join in the fun, especially the woman in the apartment across from his (she seems to be called Rocthem).

I have conveyed very little of the sheer joy of this wild anarchistic movie. Michel Piccoli's very physical performance as Themroc is brilliant and holds the movie together. You might have seen Piccoli as an urbane bourgoisie in late-period Buñuel, but you've never seen him like this.

Hilarious and oddly beautiful, Themroc is great catharsis for anyone caught in the 9-to-5 drudge. Highly recommended.

The Feline Solution

If you look at the Earth as a whole - as anything other than as a life-support system for the human race - would it really be so bad if most of us died?

Obviously if you believe humans are the be-all and end-all, a catastrophic plague, war, or natural disaster would be the worst thing that would happen.

But if you think of us as just another species, and one that is currently driving other species to extinction and even snuffing out many millions of our own species - wouldn't a drastic reduction in population be a positive rather than a negative thing?

Obviously I don't particularly want for myself or those I care about to die anytime soon. But in the abstract, and ignoring the fact that I get terribly upset whenever I read about a bombing or a hurricane, it seems like if 90% of us died the rest of the planet would do a lot better.

That's why I propose the introduction of tigers into all urban environments, combined with excessively harsh legislation to prevent people from killing them. These tigers will find fat, juicy, unarmed humans to be easy prey. Our own petty squabbles and insecurities will pale in comparison when every walk to the dairy could end in a tiger's belly.

Combined with stringent new laws against fossil fuels (automated transport will be completely banned and people will be issued bicycles), the resulting human population loss will inevitably lead to a decrease in climate change. And as we are probably too late to completely avoid change, the next ice age will thin the tiger population to the point that it does not overly threaten other species.

Yet another reason to vote me as the next Pope.

Daily Quote

"I think of horror films as art, as films of confrontation. Films that make you confront aspects of your own life that are difficult to face. Just because you're making a horror film doesn't mean you can't make an artful film."
- David Cronenberg

Daily Goddamn

Courtesy of Moose.

California State sues car manufacturers over global warming

[link]

Again: this can only be a good thing.

Daily Quote

"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
- Hunter S. Thompson

Non-Daily Goddamn

The Moose provides. Go read his frickin' site, bee-atch!

Daily Quote

"Do I think faith will be an important part of being a good president? Yes, I do."
- George W. Bush

Specifically posted in conjunction with yesterday's quote. I am not subtle.

Royal Society tells MobilExxon to stop funding climate change deniers

Download the letter they sent in PDF form.

[link] to a Guardian article.

The Royal Society, for those who don't know, is Britain's most prestigious scientific academy and has been for hundreds of years. (Readers of Neil Stephenson's Baroque Cycle should be familiar with it; Isaac Newton was once President.) This basically amounts to Britain's top scientists telling the world's biggest il & gas company to stop deliberately misleading the public on global warming.

What happens next is anyone's guess, but this can't be a bad thing.

Daily Quote

"Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
- Mark Twain

ExxonMobil funds climate change deniers

[link] Duh. This is right up there with "surprise factor" that Big Tobacco deliberately lied about smoking causing lung cancer.

This highlights what is, for me, the biggest problem with capitalism as we practice it: Profits Trump Lives (and everything else). Who needs health when you've got wealth? Shit, who needs Earth when you've got wealth? You can take it with you when you die, right?

As Kurt Vonnegut said:

"Can I tell you the truth? I mean this isn’t like TV news, is it?

"Here’s what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey.

"And like so many addicts about to face cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we’re hooked on."

It's punch-a-litterbug day!

Oh if only such a day existed!

I seriously think that all litterbugs in Wellington should be heftily punched in the guts on sight. We're a windy town. Today, along with the gravel and dust from this useless motorway we're having forced on us, I was assaulted by near-empty paper coffee cups, chocolate wrappers, ice cream sticks, cigarette butts, and other detrius dropped on the street.

Presumably the culprits are somehow unable to carry their spoor all the way to the next rubbish bin - it could be a whole half-block away after all. I bet that their legs are too weak to carry their fat chocolate-and-ice-cream-filled arses and their lungs are too weak from inhaling foul-smelling smoke.

Or maybe they're stupid, or mean, or just don't give a shit. Whatever.

RIP Charles L. Grant

Charles L. Grant apparently passed away a couple of days ago.

A top short story writer, and the best anthologist of 'quiet horror' around. If you want your horror without blood and gore (or even overt violence a lot of the time), check out the Shadows series that he edited.

He will be missed.

Daily Quotes

The Daily Goddamn has gone on indefinite hiatus because I am out of inspiration, and haven't had any submissions for a few days.

Instead, here's a quote from Werner Herzog:

"Sure, centuries from now our great-great-great-grandchildren will look back at us with amazement at how we could allow such a precious achievement of human culture as the telling of a story to be shattered into smithereens by commercials, the same amazement we feel today when we look at our ancestors for whom slavery, capital punishment, burning of witches, and the inquisition were acceptable everyday events."

And now one from Klaus Kinski. Why not?

"I never said money is freedom! I said money buys freedom. BUYS! What does that mean, money is freedom? This is ridiculous: Money is freedom. It means nothing. What do you think, that a dollar in a savings account is freedom? Maybe you have understood nothing I have said."

An Inconvenient Truth

I saw An Inconvenient truth the other day, and not only do I recommend it, I class it as a must-see.

Roger Ebert said in his review, "You owe it to yourself to see this film. If you do not, and you have grandchildren, you should explain to them why you decided not to." I agree whole-heartedly.

I'll add to this: if you don't see the movie, you can neither recommend nor condemn it. If you already know the facts about global warming, by seeing this movie you can judge for yourself whether it is a resource you can recommend. Similarly if you doubt the facts about global warming, you cannot criticize the movie unless you explicitly know what it says.

The movie is not all doom and gloom. It presents many suggestions and options for what you personally can do to help prevent the various lurking crises. It is also entertaining and often funny.

Basically, if you avoid this movie, you're a dick.

Star Wars shock

OK, so I caved and bought the new Star Wars dvds on the grounds that I don't trust that fat bastard Lucas to ever release the original cuts of the movies again. (And here's a big fuck-you to the fanboys: the first one goes straight from "Star Wars" to "It is a period of civil war" - no mention of "Episode IV" in sight.)

On advice from The Moose, I then watched Return of the Sith and Star Wars back to back.

Shock! Horror! Suddenly both movies are better. Darth Vader comes off completely differently in Star Wars than he ever did before. Instead of being a big bad motherfucker in black pervert armour, he's now a pathetic wheezing shadow of his former self. When he finally decides to go out and blow the fuck out of the rebels, it's now like he's desperately trying to recapture old glories.

His duel with Obi Wan also plays differently when you know that the last time they saw each other Obi Wan cut Vader's legs off, set him on fire, and left him to die. It's also clear that when Obi Wan tells Luke what supposedly happened to his father that he's lying - Alec Guinness even looks a little guilty when he does it.

Fantastic. I never would have guessed it would work this well. Maybe the fat man knew what he was doing after all.

Daily Goddamn

Idea by Pixie. Execution by Exterminator. Fuck-up by Baldie.

I actually would think that Brash's screwing around would be no-one's business except his own, except that this bitch is Business Roundtable - everyone knew he was in bed with them but this is a bit literal!

The Wilhelm Scream

Every think "Gosh, that guy in that movie screamed just like that other guy in that other movie"?

It's probably the Wilhelm Scream. I'd heard of it a while back, but Wikipedia provides a good list.

Go go gadget Sheb Wooley! Eatin' purple people sure is fine.

Review: Robocop (1987)

Hey wow, has anyone else watched this movie recently?

It's really good. Very sharp and funny and satirical.

I don't think I'd previously realised quite how good Peter Weller is as the title character; his face is obscured for much of the movie, and he gives a really strong physical performance, using body language both to convince us that he is mechanically powered and to convey an inner life that's conflicted and haunted even as his emotions are artificially suppressed.

Much as I love Michael Ironside, who was an early choice for the role, I don't think he would have been anywhere near as good.

The director's cut (available on DVD) improves things simply by amping up several of the most violent moments, particularly the ED-209 test and the scene where Murphy gets shot, both at the start of the movie. Less is often more, but this time more is definitely more.

Director Paul Verhoeven has said he'd like to make another Robocop movie about the current state of America. Bring it on, even though most Americans once again won't get the humour (just as many missed the satire in the original and in Starship Troopers, from the same writer & director).

It's also fun to watch the movie while thinking about Verhoeven's claim that he thought of it as a parallel to the life of Christ, with Robocop as "the American Jesus". Verhoeven once wanted to make a movie about Jesus, which would have placed special emphasis on the realities of the crucifixion, going so far as to commission Rob Bottin to do some tests, but I figure Mel Gibson's Snuff Christ has probably killed that idea.

Daily Goddamn

Today's entry is subtitled "Goddamn CD's" - it's not really an in-joke if people actually get it.

Daily Goddamn

The Might. The Milo. The Man.

Bush admits he's a liar

[link]

My translation: "So I lied, but trust me, it was for good reasons. I'm making the world safer, and the proof is because I say so. Fuck you all. I do what I want."

Daily Goddamn

Daily Goddamn is late today due to stuff. The Mighty Dave submitted this beauty.

Daily Goddamn

I took down Scott's one because I realised what day it was and couldn't pass up a chance to for incredibly bad taste.

Funny movie review

Bol has almost lost me for a while until he posted this review of a documentary about Israel.

The sarcasm is pretty harsh, and the reader comments are hilariously ignorant and non-comprehending.

Kweli admits he fucked up

He hasn't actually apologised for sampling Sting, but this is close enough:

"With Quality and Beautiful Struggle, the songs dictated the beats. This time, I sort of let the beats pick themselves. It was the music; it wasn't with what I said. Because the lyrics were pretty consistent with the rest of my other albums. It was just the music I chose to rap over. I have to think about a lot of things that I didn't think about on Beautiful Struggle. I grew up listening to Sting, so it made sense to sample that. But to my fans, I guess it didn't."

But that hasn't stopped him from recruiting Norah Jones:

"My manager, Corey, suggested her to me. I wasn't even thinking about Norah Jones at all. I only knew her from her one record. Ahmir ["?uestlove"] overheard us talking about it and gave me her e-mail address. I sent the song over to her, and she liked it and did it in a week. She goes out of the box often, to prove 'I really get down.' And it turns out we work with the same musicians, and she fit in."

I hope he uses her better than Mike Patton did on Peeping Tom.

Interview is here, including a stream of his new single (which I haven't listened to yet).

Didn't suck

No it really didn't. Yee ha!

Quotage

"The thinking, I gather, is that killing random people and never winning is still better than doing nothing and looking weak."
- Scott Adams sums up the US/Israel/general Middle East situation

Terrorist plot foiled in Belgium

[link]

D'you think Bush's Admininstration will applaud the Belgians for this?

Also, next time you're caught speeding you might try this guy's excuse. Talk about a scapegoat! [link]

Theodore Sturgeon (1918-1985)

Sturgeon's Law:
"Nothing is always absolutely so."

Sturgeon's Revelation:
"90% of everything is crud."

I hope that clears everything up.

Review: The Dirty Dozen (1967)

This movie was just like Dead Poets Society, except with Lee Marvin instead of Robin Williams. And a military prison instead of a school. And murderers, rapists, and serial killers instead of students. And instead of one guy shooting himself at the end, almost everyone is shot by Nazis at the end.

Otherwise they may as well be the same movie.

The fact that Lee Marvin stars in this movie already makes it awesome, but we also get John Cassavetes, Jim Brown, Donald Sutherland, Telly Savalas, and Charles Bronson. All on top form. Ernest Borgnine's in it too.

Five Things I Learned While Watching This Movie:

1/ A movie can be anti-war and exciting at the same time.
2/ Charles Bronson was a good actor after all.
3/ Fnord.
4/ Telly Savalas could be really scary on occassion.
5/ Movies once could be edgy and take risks and still be the biggest money-maker of the year.

Overall it was like a war movie, only good.

Daily Goddamn

Uncle Mikey has lunch while naked!

Review: The Awful Dr. Orlof (1962)

There's this doctor called Orlof. His daughter is disfigured after a fire. So he steals other womens' faces for skin grafts, because apparently he's seen Eyes Without A Face. I couldn't work out why he used skin from their breasts, other than for pure exploitative value.

His servant, Morpho, has fried eggs for eyes. As a result he is blind, but still capable of kidnapping sighted women.

A police inspector called Tanner is a nong. He only manages to solve the case because his girlfriend and a homeless drunk tell him all the clues, though he has a little trouble because he can't be bothered reading notes marked "URGENT! MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH!" until he's in his PJs.

Diana Lorys is gorgeous. Howard Vernon is sinister. Whoever plays Morpho is silly. Some other people are in it. The English dubbing is terrible, and there are no subtitles for the French track.

Eyes Without A Face is about a million times better, but it was still interesting to see Jesus Franco's first horror movie. Orlof(f), Morpho and Tanner would all re-appear many times throughout Franco's ridiculously prolific career.

I now only have about 140 Jess Franco movies left to see. It gives me something to live for.

Daily Goddamn

Dave supplies what could be subtitled "I'm the goddamn Bateman!"

Daily Goddamn

Scott continues the trend of mocking the dead.

Weekend

My weekend may have involved doing too much work, being too sick, and letting too many people down.

But at least I got to see The Notorious Daughter of Fanny Hill. What a great movie. I wish that star Stacey Walker had been in more than two movies (the other was the even-better A Smell Of Honey, A Swallow Of Brine) and one short (But Charlie, I Never Played Volleyball!) - she was a real talent.

Unfortunately she turned down an offer from Paramount to act in bigger movies, choosing instead to go back to Texas and get married to some bum. It's now forty years since Honey, Hill and Volleyball; I wonder where she is today?

"America is culturally void" - Tony Bennett

[link]

He says the only thing America has contributed is jazz, and that most Americans don't even understand that.

Funny

Paris Hilton's album sabotaged.

Daily Goddamn

Sorry, I couldn't resist...

Random Recommmends

Silent Hill is a scary movie full of really icky monsters doing vile and disturbing things to people. Despite some major structural problems, I can recommend it to anyone who likes grue.

Rogue's Gallery is a collection of pirate songs and sea chanteys that started off as a companion to the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but contains too much bawdy material (and Nick Cave saying "fuck" a lot) for a Disney release. Tom Waits is not present, but some of the weaker tracks sound like imitations of him. Within 43 tracks there are enough good ones to put out a first-rate 12 track CD, but I don't begrudge the bloat. Jolie Holland makes an appearance. This CD would have really helped when I was drunkenly trying to remember the words to sea chanteys while clinging to the prow of a boat with Peat, Law & Carolyn a few months ago.

One From the Heart is a movie directed by Francis Coppola. More importantly the soundtrack is by Tom Waits. The R1 dvd features a slightly different "director's cut" (hands up anyone who ISN'T sick of these things now?), an isolated music track, a documentary on how the failure of the movie ruined Coppola's career, and - most importantly - behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with Waits about the soundtrack and also some excellent stripped-back demo versions of several songs. This movie is widely hated, but I can't work out why - I think it's splendid. Not a masterpiece and certainly nothing to take seriously, but pretty to look at and nice to listen to.

Vodka is a Russian liquor made from potatoes.

Daily Goddamn