I don't think I'm particularly neophobic, but these new coins seem to me like they come out of a children's board game!
The plated steel coins look and feel much the same as the old coins, but they are lighter. from here.
They don't feel the same, because they are lighter. They feel flimsy in my hands. I don't have enough leverage to bend a 20c piece with my bare hands, but I bet I could do it easily with some pliers.
Doubtless I am an old curmudgoen, but what other countries have gone through this process? And have ANY other countries actually got rid of coins entirely?
Here's how I view it:
There are no longer 1c, 2c coins. Now there are also no longer 5c coins.
Therefore, the lowest denomination of money is now 10c.
Therefore 10c is the new 1c.
Therefore $1 is the new 10c.
Therefore $10 is the new $1.
Therefore: get used to spending more money on things, people.
Those sneaky fucks.
Saw this last night at the Festival. It's a mainsteam-ish American movie about a tobacco industry lobbyist, told from his point of view as he does things like meet with firearms & alcohol lobbyists (who call themselves MOD - Merchants Of Death) to brag about death tolls in their respective industries, petition Hollywood to include more smoking in movies, and bribe a former Marlboro Man into not doing the talk show circuit about their lung cancer.
This genuinely hilarious black comedy is perfectly cast. Aaron Eckhart blends charm and smarm beautifully as our anti-hero Nick Naylor. William H. Macy is typically superb as the sandal-wearing anti-tobacco Senator. Good roles also go to the underrated Kim Dickens, Robert Duvall, Sam Elliott, an absolutely brilliant Rob Lowe, and even Katie Holmes. J.K. Simmons is fun as Naylor's boss, but I kept thinking of him as J. Jonah Jameson - his performance is identical to in the Spiderman movies.
The movie goes after pro- and anti-tobacco interest groups with equal venom. It makes no explicit moral judgement, but I can't see anyone thinking it actually promotes smoking. Some of the best scenes involve Nick's young son being excited at the possibility of growing up to be as big a scumbag as his dad: "Do I have flexible morals?" he asks at one point.
My favourite dialogue -
Son: Dad, why is the America government the best in the world?
Nick: Because of our endless appeals system.
Writer/director Jason Reitman is the son of Ivan Reitman (who produced David Cronenberg's early movies and directed things like Stripes and Ghostbusters). His dad should be proud.
Watch this if you loved Election.
William Gibson's take on the Middle East conflict is interesting: he reckons that the problem is that the US Administration and the current Israeli government are incapable of comprehending the shift in language necessary to describe the new paradigm.
Read it here, titled Hammer, Meet Wasp's Nest.
Update: The other Gibson's take on the Middle East is apparently ""Fuck ... Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?"
Read all about it here.
Check out the terrorist-looking motherfucker, doing his bit for world peace by inciting racial hatred:


Today's truly excellent Daily Goddamn has been submitted by Michael Upton.
Why not send me your own Daily Goddamn? Email it to joey dot narcotic at gmail dot com. There'll be a prize for the biggest hat. (And if you get that pop culture reference...)
Yell Fire! by Michael Franti
Fox Confessor Brings the Flood by Neko Case
Yell Fire! by Michael Franti
In the first five tracks, Franti goes from reggae to guitar blues to late '80s power-ballad to hip-hop to mellow acoustic. The lyrics are political and didactic. Eventually he sings a love song.
Typical Franti, in other words: he's talented, he's political, he's knowledgable, he cares, he's got an awesome voice, and nobody but the already converted is likely to buy this album.
Recommended, particularly to those who are already buying all his stuff on auto-pilot. You'll never hear this shit on commercial radio, sadly.
What's on the radio, propaganda, mind control
And turnin it on is like puttin on a blindfold
- Dead Prez, Turn Off the Radio
Fox Confessor Brings the Flood by Neko Case
I've only recently got into Neko Case, thanks entirely to Scott A. She's a totally brilliant country singer/songwriter who's been getting better (and less traditionally country) with each release.
This is her fifth album, excepting live releases, and one of her best. My favourite to date is Blacklisted but this is also very cool. It's mellow and sexy and great to put on at midnight to chill out. Lovely cover art too.
Highly recommended, but only to those with good taste.
Coming soon: Aquaboogie, Princess Superstar, Group 5.
People in California are dying by the handful from the climate change that doesn't exist.
Here is a good, thorough article about The Warriors in all its incarnations: Greek myth, socially conscious novel, comic-book movie, violent video game.
If you've never seen the movie The Warriors, get down to it, boppers!
This is the best piece I've seen yet from Timothy Garton Ash, and has actually pulled less rabid hate-mongering than his usual writings. It's about how he believes that Europe should bear some responsibility for Middle Eastern conflict.
Even as we criticise the way the Israeli military are killing Lebanese civilians and UN monitors in the name of recovering Ehud Goldwasser (and destroying the military infrastructure of Hizbullah), we must remember that all of this would almost certainly not be happening if some Europeans had not attempted, a few decades back, to remove everyone called Goldwasser from the face of Europe - if not the earth.
Recently I have heard lots of music. Here is some of it. More to follow tomorrow.
Albums briefly reviewed are:
In My Mind by Pharrell
Think Differently Music: Wu-Tang Meets the Indie Culture
In My Mind by Pharrell
In case you've been living in a cave for the last decade, Pharrell Williams is the more visible half of hip-hop/RnB production duo The Neptunes. His main previous performance vehicle was the band N.E.R.D., who combined hip-hop, hard rock, RnB, funk, and several other genres into a unique style all their own over the course of two albums.
In My Mind is one half hip-hop, one half RnB. Pharrell's usual production cohort, Chad Hugo, is absent. He does rope in several of the people he's lent production to in the past including Snoop Dogg and Jay-Z.
In a word: forgettable. Pharrell seems to be trying to be Prince on a lot of this album; he's got Prince's arrogance but unfortunately he lacks the purple one's voice, musicianship, attitude, religious/sexual conflict, and talent. Then again so did Rick James and Street Songs is still a great album, but this is no Street Songs.
Think Differently Music: Wu-Tang Meets the Indie Culture
I'm a big fan of early Wu-Tang. A whole huge crew of talented MCs backed by the RZA, one of the most innovative producers in hip-hop, they released seven top-notch albums between 1993 and 1997 which all hold up just fine today. Then the rot set in: RZA started farming out production, and the resulting glut of below-par product lowered their star considerably. By 2005 almost no one cared.
This anthology is put together by the supremely untalented rapper Dreddy Krueger, and was mostly ignored including by me. The idea was pairing Wu MCs with "underground" MCs over "classic" Wu beats, mostly by RZA imitators. Be still, my beating fart.
SURPRISE! It's great. Bronze Nazareth provides great old-school Wu beats on most tracks, and there's lots of top rapping. Only a few of the original Wu are present: RZA, GZA and U-God (I really missed Masta Killa, who's usually up for anything). Other top MCs include Ras Kass, the underrated Timbo King, Del tha Funky Homosapien, and Aesop Rock. Everyone is on form, even Bronze Nazareth himself on his debut rapping track. Dreddy Krueger does not rap at all.
My pick track is Give It Up by R.A. the Rugged Man and J-Live - an odd couple pairing for sure. Both these top underrated MCs kick career-best verses over an extremely unlikely (for them) beat.
In a word: memorable.
Next time: Neko Case, Princess Superstar, more.
Saw this last night at the Festival. I only knew Chappelle from hosting a Talib Kweli mix-tape while doing a Rick James impersonation, but this movie is chock full of performances by my current favourite MCs: Kweli, Mos Def, Common, Kanye West, etc. Awesome RnB/Soul divas Erykah Badu and Jill Scott sang together at one point, which was amazing. The Roots made for a tight back-up band - and were much better for a live concert film than a DJ could ever be.
Dead Prez, who I've heard not too much of, impressed me greatly with their tight flows and right-on politics. The Fugees got back together for the show, but unfortunately they sang Killing Me Softly (a great song that they absolutely butcher - I still hate their version).
Dave Chappelle himself was funny as fuck. The doco bits were great, but I was disappointed that they kept cutting away from the music in the middle of a song. Common seemed to get really short-changed here; he was on stage almost constantly, but almost every time his verse was coming up they cut away.
There was something really special about seeing Kweli do Get By with Mos singing the chorus, Common chanting along, and the Roots providing back-up. Likewise Kanye West grinning from ear to ear while a marching band played Jesus Walks.
What was up with Kweli's voice, by the way? He was all deep and raspy. Maybe he had a cold.
Hopefully the dvd will have heaps more of the music. The movie really captured the excitement of a great live hip-hop show, which seems to be hard to do. Praise to music video genius Michele Gondry, who directed the movie - let's see him do more live stuff, huh?
Pharrell's solo album In My Mind was supposed to be out in October 2005. It never came out, and eventually his website stopped putting up release dates for it.
So imagine my surprise at walking into Real Groovy and finding a copy.
Review tomorrow. Sure hope it doesn't blow goats!
Dick Grayson: Who the hell are you anyway, giving out orders like this?

There are claims that Israel's pamphlet drops in Lebanon are to save the lives of innocent civilians.
If they're really so interested in saving the lives of those they're dropping bombs on, why target clearly-marked Red Cross ambulances?
Check out this, linked from Morgue's blog:

Fucken liars. What does Human Rights Watch have to say about blowing up ambulances?
"In Israel's actions today we can detect many of the elements of hubris: an imperial arrogance, a distortion of reality, an awareness of its military superiority, the self-righteousness with which it wrecks the social infrastructure of weaker states, and a belief in its racial superiority. The loss of many civilian lives in Gaza and Lebanon matters less than the capture or death of a single Israeli soldier. In this, Israeli actions are validated by the US."
- Tariq Ali
"A belief in racial superiority"? I sure hope not. Israelis, of all people, should know where that leads.
""On the one hand information wants to be expensive, because it's so valuable. The right information in the right place just changes your life. On the other hand, information wants to be free, because the cost of getting it out is getting lower and lower all the time. So you have these two fighting against each other."
- Stuart Brand, 1984
"Information wants to be free."
- the only part that's usually quoted.
Funny how the only part you usually hear is the sentence fragment that can be self-servingly used as a half-assed justification for downloading or copying something for "free" instead of buying it. Usually with the "information" being not plans for a better water-pump to help give third world countries better access to drinking water, or information on how various corporations or governments are screwing us, but instead the latest booty-shaking track we heard at the club.
Yes, music can change your life; but somehow I doubt this is what Brand was talking about.
Thanks to Moose for providing context. Now GO READ HIS BLOG, it's much better than mine.
I used to go to film festival movies all the time. In recent years I have not, for whatever reason.
This year I've already doubled my score from last year: I've seen two.
The Valet was a French comedy from the mofo who wrote & directed The Dinner Game and The Closet. I haven't seen those, but my lovely companion informed me that it made funny references to those movies. It was a sweet and charming comedy with some laugh-out-loud moments.
The plot involved a parking valet who is paid to pretend to be the live-in boyfriend of a supermodel, to save her actual boyfriend (an extremely weasly and corrupt factory CEO) from an expensive divorce; he plans to use the money to pay the mortgage of the woman he actually loves.
The only actor I knew was Kritsen Scott-Thomas, wonderfully bitchy as the wife, who's one step ahead of everyone for most of the movie and seems to enjoy the whole set up as a game she knows she'll win. Every character except for the CEO is fundamentally decent and likable, and everyone gets what they deserve in the end.
Water was an Indian movie made with Canadian money - one of those foreign-language movies that's pretty damned good but seems to reflect the co-production country at least as much as the place it's supposed to be set in terms of filmmaking aesthetics. Which is OK 'cause I love Canadian movies.
This was set in the '30s and was about seven year old girl whose husband has died shortly after their arranged marriage, at which point she's packed off to a home for widows so her family doesn't have to feed her. It's all based around the Hindu idea that a woman is a part of her husband, and when he dies her life is basically over unless she marries his younger brother, so she may as well just jump on his funeral pyre and end it all so she doesn't have to live a life of miserable poverty and head-shavenness.
It's not quite as downbeat as that sounds, and there's lots of genuine laughter and joy in the movie. Not all of the widows are victims, and one in particular has no qualms about manipulating the others to make her own life easier. There's also a lot of hypocrisy among the more "liberal" Indian men, and one character who is much too good to be true. The ending seemed a little desperate, as if the filmmakers couldn't quite face up to the incredibly depressing ending the movie seemed like it was going to have and compromised.
So that's two for two. I'm gonna try and sneak off to see Dave Chappelle's Block Party on Wednesday, now that my charming festival companion has given it two thumbs up and converted from hip-hop hate to love (now that she sees it's not all about guns and hos). Hurrah!
However, I heard too late - the cancellation only came through on the day, by which time I had already burned the Beehive on my own.
Before:

After:

What use are car indicators if you only use them after you've already started to turn? Is anyone blind in such a specific sense that they can't see a large metal object turning, but they can see a tiny light blinking?
The main thing they seem to indicate is the relative mental health of the driver, from "Excuse me but I'm about to turn, so please don't walk in front of or drive into the side of my car or someone might get hurt," to "Woah! I think I just turned! Wonder if I killed anyone?"
Then there's the attention-seeking "I think I might turn sometime in the next four or five minutes, but it's any guess as to exactly if, when or where I'm actually going to do it." These drivers may be the most unstable of them all and should be shot at with meat guns and bitten with attack wombs.
Using the indicator in this sense, I judge that at least 65% of current road users are either too stupid or too psychotic to be allowed to pilot big hunks of metal at 50-100 kilometers per hour.
This is quite hilarious. Their idea of "cool" is The Feelers? So much for taste in music.
They want to link to Dawn Raid? Do they even realise where the phrase "Dawn Raid" comes from? Why not try to appeal to African refugees by creating a Kaffir brand? Why not just go into a pub in Porirua and start calling everyone horis and boongas? How clueless can a white boy be?!?
I work in the same building as a National Party office. They're on the 14th floor, I'm on the 15th, so we ride the lift together quite often. In all honesty, young Nats look about as hip and cool as your Nana at a crochet meet. I mean, how cool can a blue suit and tie possibly be?
Playing up the female MPs is a joke as well. Have they forgotten all the bad publicity about Boss Brash's all-male posse? (I know the one women who worked for Brash at the Reserve Bank, and she was just a contractor.)
They also want to hop on the charity bus. Yes that's right - Nats want to use teenage cancer patients and battered women as an ad for themselves. I know that politics is more about opportunism than any desire to actually do the right thing, but this is a poor effort even for the blue-ties.
I work for a charity, and a running joke here is that if our neighbours downstairs get voted in, they'll be able to take over our offices 'cause they'll cut our funding. But then I guess we're not a "hip and cool" charity like daffodils for cancer.
Screw you, National. You're eternally that fat kid with glasses from The Far Side.
Can I get nominations for the best songs ever written about necrophilia?
I have two.
I Love the Dead by Alice Cooper; and
Archie & Veronica (love in Riverdale) by Lovage.
Uncle Alice is a master of corpse-love lyrics (also see Cold Ethyl):
While friends and lovers mourn your silly grave
I have other uses for you, darling.
But Mike Patton & Jennifer Charles get to the rotting heart of the matter:
Mike:
Sitting on a cold slab
Feeling my warm stab
You know I'll be missing you
That's why I'm kissing you
Jennifer:
Jealous of the flies and the worms inside me
Any more nominations? I'm not really interested in Cannibal Corpse-style gory silliness. Give me romance, people!
OK, let's get down to it boppers!
What sane boy doesn't thrill to The Warriors?
When I was a boy, the video was impossible to get hold of 'cause all the brown boys I went to school with loved it so much. They indoctrinated me into the way of The Warriors along with martial arts movies (Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Sho Kosugi - Pray For Death was a particular favourite).
I am fairly certain that early exposure to The Warriors is partially responsible for my lifelong love of movie musicals. To me the fight scenes are right up there with Gene Kelly. The men's room fight is my particular favourite, as it combines true scuzz with real style.
Can you dig it?
Can you dig it?
Caaaaan you dig it?
[Riffs! (Yeah!) Can u dig it?]
Uh yeah g'day.
A number of people I know have ranted about this pseudo-documentary. The consensus seems to be either "It's amazing!" or "It's boring/waffly!" My own take is "It reminds me of the Mystical Pathways informercial I used to see in the early hours after finishing the night shift!" *warm nostalgic glow remembering friendly new-age idiots*
If you've seen the movie, you should probably read this, which points out some worrying things about the "experts" in this documentary-like object.
This is an article about physics in movies in general, written by a physicist. It singles out What the Bleep as being particularly problematic and concludes:
"The 2004 film What the #$*! Do We (K)now!? misleadingly purports to present an accurate view of quantum physics but in fact promotes a strange quasi-religious cult."
But hey, who cares anyway? The movie's really about convincing a middle-aged deaf woman not to feel bad about getting fat. Hardly earth-shattering. It's been popular enough that there's already a sequel, What the Bleep: Down the Rabbit Hole [insert joke about Rev. Charles Dodgson and under-aged rabbit holes.]
"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar."
- Edward R. Murrow
It's at times like this that I think of a woman I used to know who is half Jewish and half Lebanese. How the fuck does she feel right now?
I'm buggering off to Christchurch.
Back by the weekend (I hope).
See y'all later.
Or maybe he isn't.
Click here.
Now go read one of his books.
If you live in Wellington, go to Pinnacle Books in Willis Street Village and buy something by him - I'd particularly recommend The Cosmic Trigger vol. 1 out of his non-fiction and Illuminatus! out of his fiction, both of which they have (or at least they had them yesterday...)
His official site is here.
Also see Billy's site which is bound to have some good RAW-related stuff on it.
You know what? "Socially responsible" is a joke.
There's never been a technology built in the history
of the world that was 'socially responsible.' People
are going to deal with climate change because their
ass is on fire and water is slopping over the windowsills.
- Bruce Sterling
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity.
- Harlan Ellison
Commonly misquoted with "things" instead of "elements". Ellison is my god. If you haven't read any of his essay collections - vastly superior to his fiction - you are an ignorant schlub.
Now that I've finally seen all the Star Wars episodes that I always assumed as a kid would never actually get made, I'm keen to see the Clone Wars animated series.
Was it ever released here? I can't find it anywhere. And with Grey DeLisle instead of Natalie Portman as Padme, it stands a chance of being better acted than the movies...
By the by, I forgot to congratulate episode 3 for including a room full of dead children. Bravo! Even if only one kid dies on screen (killed by clones in front of Jimmy Smits, no less).
I missed these episodes of the mini-series Star Wars because the first episode was unpromising. In any case, as the series was made out of order I had already seen episodes 4-6, which meant I had no urgency because I already had some clue of where 2 & 3 were going.
I'm glad to have finally filled in the missing gaps. There were no surprises here story-wise, and this show is far from perfect overall, but there were plenty of entertaining moments along the way.
There's spoilers in this review, but if you really care about Star Wars you will have already seen these episodes and if you don't really care it's not like I'm spoiling anything of great interest.
By far the biggest hurdle this series had to overcome was its actors, who were a combination of the inept and the mis-cast.
Leading the former was Hayden Christenson as Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, who seems unable to deliver a line of dialogue in a believable manner. Not far behind was Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine/Darth Sidious, a terrible ham who spends his whole time putting on silly voices and pulling funny faces. Palpatine is a role that Vincent Price or John Carradine would have sunk their teeth into with relish, and sadly those days of glorious pickled ham seem to have gone forever, replaced by the likes of McDiarmid's more canned (Spam even) approach.
In the latter basket sat Ewan McGregor as Obi Wan Kenobi, who seemed content to let his beard do most of the acting as his accent got sillier. By the end of episode 3, he sounded like someone imitating Peter Sellers imitating Alec Guinness. Samuel L. Jackson, an actor of unusual charisma and Force (tee hee), here does his best imitation of a temporary plywood wall. Natalie Portman was wasted in a typical Hollywood girlfriend/wife role which was more plot device than character - her character was so poorly developed that when her love interest turned against her she literally withered away and died, like the heroine of an old Gothic romance.
By far the best actor in the movie is Frank Oz as the voice of Yoda, ably assisted by a special effects team who seemed to put more work and care into this one character than into all the action scenes combined. Christopher Lee is quite good in a small role as Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus, and is very appropriate casting given his frequent horror movie co-star Peter Cushing's memorable role as Grand Moff Tarkin in episode 4.
Story-wise there isn't a lot going on, the bulk of both episodes being taken up by action set-pieces. It's just a pity that most of these set-pieces resembled cut scenes from a video game. I was actually prompted to watch these episodes because I had been playing the Xbox game "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic", and there was little qualitative difference between the story, characters, acting and story of the game and the show; in fact in some respects the game was superior.
Dialogue was weak throughout, and had a tendency to describe what was happening. A good example is the escape of General Grievous at the start of episode 3: we see Grievous enter an escape pod. "Time to abandon ship," he says. Then we see escape pods blasting off. Then we cut to some Jedi, saying something like "Grievous has escaped!" Plenty of other examples abound, with people being shot at and then saying "That shot missed!", etc.
The entire end sequence is set on top of molten lava, which the filmmakers treat as if it were water. People are able to stand on flimsy platforms floating on top of the lava without discomfort, and can jump over the lava itself without catching on fire; flaming sparks whirl around them constantly without even singeing an eyebrow or soot-blackening a nose. This makes the moment when Skywalker finally catches on fire even more ridiculous. Yes I've heard all the stupid argments, like "it's space lava", but this space lava isn't even consistent with itself from moment to moment. Big climax, but no orgasm.
It all ends in tears. There's the inevitable "shout Nooooo! at the sky as the camera cranes up" moment.
Overall this was pretty good for genre television. Despite what I said, I was entertained. The lightsaber battles were all great fun, especially the one between Yoda and Dooku at the climax of episode 2. There's not enough that's interesting about Anakin Skywalker to make the "tragedy" of his fall compelling, and in fact he's such a whiney brat that I actually laughed when he was dismembered and set on fire by his oldest friend, but this isn't really aspiring to Shakespeare so who cares. It's colourful and fun, and that's all it needs to be.
Not quite, but almost, literally.
'Tis here.
Also, court rules in favour of tobacco death merchants. Big fucking surprise.

Click here to see the rest.
Click here to find out why it was pulled from the original site, with a link to the original pamphlet it's parodying.
Yes, I am obsessed. I have my reasons.
This is surprisingly great. I've linked to the first one 'cause they're better in order. Watch out for Captain Dagon's House of Fish!
You don't sing me love songs
You don't leave me comments
Anymore...
Too bad for you because now CTHULHU WILL EAT YOU ALL! Ah ha ha ha!

Why I Hate Saturn by Kyle Baker has long been one of my most favourite comic books. It's the bitterly cynical and sarcastic story of an alcoholic columnist working for a pseudo-hip magazine, and her misadventures with her seriously insane sister. One of the things I liked most about it was its dedication page:
"This book is dedicated to whomever I'm going out with now."
I recently picked up my own copy of it, and after plonking down my hard-earned cash I opened it to find the following dedication page:
"For Elizabeth."
Why fuck up a perfectly good joke for the sake of a ret-conned dedication, Kyle? You munter. Also, the funny comic on the back cover blurb has been reduced to 1 panel. Thus several of the funniest jokes in the entire comic have been deleted for no apparent reason.
It's really irritating!