Selection of the Chief Banana seems to already be secured, at least in the state of Massa Jeb.
Okay, so that's not precisely what Jimmy Carter says. But f**k it, anyone who believes that US politics are based on anything sane or reasonable is beyond naive.
Meanwhile all Wellington has to contend with is a Mayoral race where voter apathy means that the idiot in charge will probably get re-elected so she can continue to ruin our nation's Capital by f**king around with the infrastructure. It doesn't help that the city's only daily newspaper came stated that there were no credible alternatives to her a few weeks before the election, and that she was all but chosen by the gods to win. Oops, I don't work for that paper do I? Gah.
Oh yeah, just because I'm mysteriously banned from commenting on Morgue's blog due to a glitch: Comics are read almost exclusively by geeks. How can they possibly be hip?
This morning, my radio said to me, "I was working part-time in the Five And Dime, my boss was Mr. McGee. He told me several times that he didn't like my kind, because I was a bit too leisurely. I was always busy doing something close to nothing, but different from the day before. That's when I saw her - oh, I saw her - she walked in through the Out door. She wore a raspberry beret, the kind you find in a second-hand store. Raspberry beret, and when it was warm she didn't wear much more. Raspberry beret, I think I love her.
"Built like she was, she had the nerve to ask me if I meant to do her any harm. So I put her on the back of my bike and we went riding down by Old Man Johnson's farm. Overcast days never turn me on, but something about the clouds and her mixed. She wasn't too bright, but when she kissed me I knew she knew how to get her kicks."
Thank you, Mr PR Nelson.
I've just been reading reviews of Pauly Shore's recent writing/directing debut, Pauly Shore Is Dead.
They're all positive. Some of them are absolute raves. Everybody is like, "I can't believe how good this movie is."
Check out this cast:
Ben Stiller, Sean Penn, Tom Sizemore, Chris Rock, Tommy Chong, Snoop Dogg, Perry Farrell, Michael Madsen, Jerry Springer, Jason Mewes, Vince Vaughan, Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, Whoopi Goldberg, Ellen Degeneres... There's more. The good the lame AND the ugly.
Then again, Bio-Dome had Kylie Minogue performing oral sex on a carrot and it still wasn't worth seeing.
Comic books and music. Are there more vital issues facing us today?
How about video games? The Spider-man 2 game is choice. A bit samey at times ("Hey Spidey, save me from Generic Threat #1, #2 o r #3!") but great fun, combining movie & comicbook elements very well.
Dawn of the Dead came out on zone 4 dvd. It's worth picking up - unless you want to spring for the zone 1 ultimate edition, which has all three versions of the movie (the director's cut, the Dario Argento cut, the Cannes rough cut). Re-watching it reminded me of how far short the remake fell.
Howard the Duck vol. 2 was great fun. Perhaps lacking in some of the more serious black-comedy elements from vol. 1 and maybe a few too many parodies of other comic books. I forgive writer Steve Gerber for going after the easy target of manufactured boy bands in part one just 'cause I know he was working out his frustrations from working on the Backstreet Boys web cartoon. Some of it (eg the dot com stuff) dated real quickly - it's only two years old and already kind of a period piece.
Citizen Kane is still better than From Hell. FH is the CK of comics, but since the average comic is worse than the average movie, it makes sense that the best comic is also worse than the best movie. Even if CK is shorter.
Never let it be said that I am a corporate shill, but Tower Manners Mall is the f**king shit. ALl regular CDs are under $25, and they have THE best funk & soul collection in town. The man who usually hooks me up with my P-Funk just sold me Joss Stone's new album for $24.95 - he looked unimpressed with my choice of drug, and as the CD was in Pop instead of Soul he might be right. I'll report tomorrow.
Also, less than an hour after ranting about the death of comics I've bought the Howard the Duck vol. 2 paperback. If writer Steve Gerber can't regain me my faith in the medium, nobody can.
I don't miss reading comics. I thought I would, but I really don't.
I picked up Alias vol. 1 which is a "grown-ups only" Marvel superhero/private eye comic written by one of my favourite writers, Brian Michael Bendis. I gave up halfway through. It has great dialogue, it's well drawn, it's clearly going somewhere interesting, it's not scared to have the main character get f**ked up the ass by Luke Cage right at the start. Yet I don't care. I may not even finish vol. 1, let alone get around to vols. 2-978.
Kyle Baker's superb slice-of-life comic Why I Hate Saturn fared better, in that I actually plan to finish it. But I seem to have caught "comics are for kids" disease. I suspect it really is a lower art-form after all. As great as From Hell is, it isn't up there with Welles's Citizen Kane or Tolstoy's War And Peace, nor is any other comic.
The kid in me seems to have been fooling the adult in me for years. Comics are junk food - tasty, but even the most nutritious is packed with sugar.
Did anyone else catch the first episode of bro'Town the other night? It's an animated comedy show written & voiced by the Naked Samoans.
Pretty funny stuff. Lots of "poos and wees" humour, but delivered with energy and fun (if cheap-looking) animation. It compared favourably with the new Simpsons episode right before it.
The first episode's guests were a no-brainer: John Campbell, Carol Hirschfield, Helen Clarke, Robert Rakete & Scribe. I'm not sure why David Lange & Edmond Hilary were in the Thank Yous at the end. Wait, Helen Clarke quoted Sir Ed's "We knocked the bastard off!" Lange should be a cast member.
Pop music AND tv cartoons. I'm on a f**king roll. Next stop: video gamez!
Now I'm working in an office where More FM is the norm, I'm hearing a lot more popular music. I'm mostly unimpressed, but who cares?
Joss Stone has a new single. In a few days her new album comes out. I'm probably gonna buy it straight away. Apparently she's co-written twelve of the fourteen songs, instead of doing more soul standards. This could be a positive development.
I have a best-case and a worst-case long-term scenario for her.
Best case: she learns to play guitar, piano, bass & drums and discovers she's as natural a songwriter as she is a singer. She becomes a cross between Stevie Wonder & Dusty Springfield.
Worst case is: Mariah Carey with a low range.
My actual prediction: not-bad pop and the occassional great song. Assuming she doesn't develop a massive drug & alcohol problem and die before 20, of course.
As you can tell, weighty issues consume me. What could be more important than musing on the possible future of a teen pop singer?
Back again again again. Employed at our Capital's only daily paper.
Last night the Naked Samoans' cartoon series bro'Town debuted. It was extremely childish and crude, and quite funny - as expected. Newsreaders & politicians are clearly lining up to guest on it.
I have a dreadful feeling that Bush is going to be re-elected President of America. While I must admit to some perverse glee at the awful possibilities, I really hope they go for Dr. Carl Hill instead. Sorry, I meant John Kerry. But you've got to admit, if he was carrying his head around in an In-tray he'd be a dead ringer.
Just over a month until Halloween and I don't even have a venue for a party yet. Gah.
Gonk. Gonk. Here's a poem I wrote when I was 17. I've probably posted it before, but who can be bothered checking?
FACISM IN A COW SKIN
Jackboots marching down the street
Stomp Stomp Moo