Look out! He's got a knife!

The Truth About Not Smoking Pot

A lot of propaganda exists about not smoking pot. I am here to confront you with the hazards of this terrible thing, based on personal experience. This will be the first of several installments.

1. Sleeping In
Not smoking pot leads inevitably to not suddenly falling asleep in the early evening, which in itself leads to waking up later. If taken far enough, not smoking pot could potentially lead to you being fired for being repeatedly late for work.

2. Taking life too seriously
Not smoking pot leads, without doubt, to finding less things funny, and therefore taking things like politics and work seriously. This leads to stress and, in some cases, may lead to death.

3. Vivid dreams
Not smoking pot makes dreams much more vivid, and when combined with new-found serious obsessions with work and politics, can lead to dreaming vividly about serious subjects. This can feed those obsessions, which will ramp up the stress levels even more and - worse - make you talk about these topics, leading to boredom.

4. Writing
Not smoking pot leads to an increase in energy for writing. Combined with points 1 and 2, this further leads to your writing becoming more serious and even less interesting than it was before. This intensifies the boredom and increases the stress tenfold.

5. Blog posting
Not smoking pot leads to updating your blog more often with asinine and unfunny entries, which spreads the boredom and stress outwards. In time, you may even infect others with your non-pot-smoking tendencies even over the internet, inevitably leading to the decay of society.

I don't know how much longer this experiment can last.

Posted by joey at February 20, 2008 12:53 PM