You hear that, Mr Andersen?

"Mawige is what bwings us togeffa, today."

There have been lots of things happening; I just haven't had time to write about any of them. :)

Recently, my youngest brother got married. (Well, I say youngest brother, but Fraser revealed at the BBQ after the marriage that he'd always thought that I was younger than super_late, and that I was mid-twenties rather than my actual early thirties. This is the kind of crazy that I like.) A lot of people have written about the wedding, but I thought that it might be useful to give the point of view of one of the groomsmen.

The amount of stuff I'd had to do before the wedding was actually pretty minimal. I had to go get fitted for my Thai-style bright blue silk tunic, for example; I've included a picture, courtesy of Brian W, to allow you to see me in all my turquoise glory. Someone told me that I looked a bit like a Bond villain, which isn't a compliment I got last time I was groomsman-ing. (I'm the one on the far right, in case you were having trouble guessing.)

(Incidentally, it's about when this picture was taken that super_late thought to ask me whether I had the rings. Frankly, if I didn't have them then, it was a bit too late to find out. As it happened, I had them safely tucked in my pocket.)

* * *

Anyway, the fitting was quite some time before the wedding; Giffy's sisters were visiting Thailand, and getting the silk for all the outfits there. The only other thing I was asked to do, pre-ceremony, was to organize some sort of get-together for super_late's male friends. You wouldn't think that this would be too hard; but you'd be forgetting that (a) super_late has an awful lot of friends; (b) some of them have minor obligations, like touring with the band that was opening for Shihad; and (c) I'm kinda useless at organizing stuff, which meant I didn't even remember to tell one of our brothers about it.

Oh, and I had a couple of Austrian backpackers staying on my couch, so I was trying to get the party out of the house and into town before midnight, so that the girls would have somewhere to sleep. (This was the second half of the pair of backpackers that I met in Cornwall, ooh, three years ago, plus a girl I hadn't met before. The other visited the year after I met them, and it's been really nice that I've been able to take both of them to my family's Christmas Eve dinner. I think that the recent batch enjoyed themselves, and it was fun to be a Christmas ninja to others, as well as C; and they made Christmas cookies, and helped decorate the tree.)

Anyway, one of the things that the party did have going for it was a movie that Matt and Debbie whipped up through the magic of being awesome. I'm a little embarrassed to link to it, because you can very clearly see that acting (or more specifically, remembering lines) is not my forte, but I want to acknowledge the comedy genius of some of the images that they managed to dig up. (I'd do the embedded video thing, but my main blog doesn't support it.) It was written in a couple of days, and filmed in an evening at my house; yes, it's my own bow-tie. :) People seem to enjoy both the video and the party.

* * *

Soon after, it was Christmas -- I feel I need to acknowledge to wrapping skills of Pete and Ellen, who managed to disguise their present to me (a watering can) as a bright red rocket. (It was upside down, and the spout was one of the fins). While I'm making this aside, I should mention that Ellen and Pete are doing a sterling job on my garden, and I'll write more about that later. But back to the wedding narrative...

It was the day before the wedding, and super_late had finally decided that I was going to be the one to say a few words at the reception. This meant I had to come up with something to say; and it had to be witty, interesting, funny, and (most importantly) short. I can say with confidence that I managed fairly short, and I seemed to get some laughs, too. I ended up writing it between things that we were doing on the wedding day -- we were up at 5am to be in time for breakfast with the Buddhist monks who were going to be involved in the ceremony, and then off for a shave with a cut-throat razor with the boys. (My recommendation? I didn't find it particularly relaxing to be unable to breathe from hot towels, or later from the aftershave fumes, but I was a bit blocked up, and the barber did say I was the most difficult shave that he'd had in five years. Other people's mileage definitely differed -- one of the group found it very relaxing, while one of my brothers pulled out at the last minute. It may not have helped that the barber, who was definitely a "character", basically called him ugly (in a very joking way, of course). Anyway, not something I'm planning to repeat anytime soon.)

As soon as we got back, I hopped on a computer, and was trying to make the notes I'd made at the barber's a coherent couple of paragraphs; soon after I finished, we were off to the reception venue to drop off flowers and drinks, and then on to the Buddhist monastery.

* * *

As the picture above shows, the wedding was a blend of a number of different traditions -- Maori, Catholic and Thai. The first part involved super_late and his trusty sidekicks, the Groom's Party, facing three gates, manned by Giffy's friends, Giffy's father's family, and Giffy's mother's family. At each gate, he had to answer a series of questions about why they should let him pass, and marry Giffy -- there's a youtube video of it around. He was holding Mum's greenstone mere (a war-club, but holding it downwards to symbolise that we came in peace), and was wearing the korowai (cloak) that Mum made for special occasions like this; her mother had contributed some of the materials, and helped her start, so it was a way for her to be there. I think you can see the band of paua shell above the feathers, and you can almost make out the curling koru patterns in the band above -- there are two big ones (for Mum and Dad), and then four coming up and three coming down (for the four boys and three girls in the family).

Oh, I forgot to mention: at the run-through of the ceremony the previous day, Mum and my youngest sister were there, watching from the back of the courtyard; and a fantail came and flitted around them. This reminded Mum of when they were up in Taupo, soon after her mother died. They went for a walk, and fantail followed them, and flitted around; and then my sister reminded Mum that it was her mother's birthday. The bird hung around for a little longer, and went on its way. Hmm, this might make more sense if you knew about Maori beliefs involving ancestors visiting you in animal shapes, the ties between fantails and the dead, and stuff like that; but I don't really feel qualified to talk about it. Let's just call it auspicious, and leave it at that. :)

Anyway, once super_late had passed the three gates (and more or less promised Giffy's mum nine grandchildren), it was time for the Catholic ceremony in the courtyard, which is where the picture above comes from. This was relatively quick, with the readings being given while the registry was signed. Then it was off with the shoes, and into the temple, where the seven monks passed a string out to the audience (so that everyone could hold it, and be linked to the couple, and pass their good thoughts back to them). There was an explanation of the symbolism -- for example, that the string symbolized the union, but that it was just a material thing, and their love was more lasting and deeper than the string. (This was the string that would be used the next day, when people had the opportunity to tie it around their wrists and wish them luck and happiness.) The chanting that followed was impressive, but unfortunately I was distracted; it turns out that my legs are not designed for kneeling, and by the end I was in a fair amount of pain. Thank goodness we were allowed to sit cross-legged for the second part!

* * *

Then there was the reception. The bride and groom sat at the front, and the guests lined up to give them good wishes, and to pour water over their hands with a conch shell... while the groomsmen and bridesmaids stood behind them, and watch the line appear to stay the same length forever, and saw the delicious thai fishcakes and other yummy entrees circulate far, far below, and grew more and more rebellious. Not towards Giffy or super_late, mind you; no, we knew they were suffering along with us. But it was only an hour or so, and then we were allowed to have a bite to eat, and people were released to get dinner.

After this, it was pretty much a standard reception -- the speeches were between the main meal and dessert, there was an excellent band (The Aviators, a young funk group) and dancing, and the happy couple retired slightly early to a bed that had been prepared (with coins and rosepetals) by the grandparents, with the help of some of the other older married couples. (Apparently there was over three hundred years of married life involved in making that bed.) I guess the only big difference in the speeches was that the bride got a turn, and the other groomsman took the opportunity to tell some big whoppers about the groom. (That's right, folks -- almost all the stories my brother told about super_late were actually his fault, from the snail collection under the pillow to trying to clean the inside of the windows by dragging the hose into the living room... Mum still remembers hearing him yelling to super_late to turn the hose on...)

* * *

The next day was quiet -- a short Thai blessing, a chance to show the couple support by tying some string around their wrists and saying a few words, and then it was time for a BBQ. Our relatives from Foxton were an enormous help, appearing early and helping to get everything organized and on-time. And then... it was all over, or only just beginning, depending on your point of view.

Except for the food. There was a lot of food, even though people had Great Dane bags (rather than doggie bags) pressed upon them. C and I were still begged to come back the next day to help with the eating. :)

* * *

So, that's my entry on the wedding. May the rest of their lives together be just as eventful, interesting, fun, awesome, serendipitous and meaningful, and just as surrounded by friends and family.

Posted by svend at January 16, 2007 12:34 AM