You hear that, Mr Andersen?

The Ballad of Terry Spears

In my continuing efforts in case we get a musical, here's something I managed to whip up relatively quickly; I was using the constraints of a year before last (i.e. a doll, the character Terry Spears, and the words, "Put it down, nice and easy" -- though I deliberately cheated on the last part). Here's the track -- I don't think the sound is too bad, and it's a .wav file by default.

Since I don't have access to a microphone, you'll just have to imagine me singing it in a vaguely "Lynn of Tawa" accent. It's basically the chord progressions from "Ghost Riders in the Sky", with a extra couple of bars at the end of each line, and a four-bar intro; I've left it fairly straight, but pulling it up a note between verses to increase the tension etc. is certainly doable, and fiddling with the tempo is as easy as pie. Just so people can get an idea, I recorded a version with a different style set. Anyway, on to the lyrics:

Now when you first start flatting, and you're young, and you're a bloke,
It's easy to forget not everyone can take a joke.
So let me tell the story of a boy named Terry Spears,
Who didn't heed this sage advice; and was killed with gardening shears.

In every flat, well, there's give and take;
But messing with some feller's stuff -- that can be a big mistake.

Now Terry was from Canterbury, and grew up on the farm,
He drank DB, and watched TV, and never meant no harm;
He'd found a flat in Thorndon, a double room, no pets.
And lived on packet noodles, takeaways and cigarettes.

He had a flatmate, Nicholas, another one called Sue,
They had a little roster to say who should clean the loo.
But one day, after drinking a bit too much alcohol,
Poor Nicholas, he let slip that he had an old rag doll.

In every flat, well, there's give and take;
But messing with some feller's stuff -- that can be a big mistake.

Now Terry was the type who simply couldn't let things go;
He harp on about dolly when it wasn't apropos.
But one day, in the lounge, when he was eating KFC,
Terry wiped his hands on Dolly; and Nicholas was high on P.

Now Spears could see that Nick had gone completely off his head.
Terry took off through the garden, locked himself inside the shed;
Nick grabbed a pair of garden shears, and stabbed him through the door;
That was the end of Terry Spears; he'd bother Nick no more.

In every flat, well, there's give and take;
But messing with some feller's stuff -- that can be a big mistake.

So learn this simple lesson, if you're flatting in this town:
When you flatmate has a quirk, and you want to put it down;
Nice and easy does it -- just agree to disagree;
'Cos you you might be in the wrong, son; and they might be high on P.

I haven't bothered writing it up as a proper script, and there's plenty to improve song-wise (and story-wise, come to that); but it gives you an idea of what's relatively easy. I'll try to hunt down a few more ballad-ish chord progressions in the near future, and whip up a few more of these things. Oh, and I should finish off the superhero musical...

Posted by svend at May 18, 2006 12:39 AM